Life is hectic. Love is blind. We fall and feel and feign too much. My life is a mess, let alone attempting to be aware and involved in others' lives. And it's amazing how much one person can affect your world.. And you, my friends, it's like we're ALL falling apart...
Is life not hard enough as it is? Is it so difficult to get the break we so badly want? The first couple days murdered me; the only thing stopping myself from ripping out my beating, bleeding, beaten, bruised, broken heart was the fact that it's practically impossible to do so... I feel monotonous, I feel robotic.... I find immense joy in solving a mathematical equation of physics, for goodness's sake... Can life never give us what we so want the most, and let us keep it? You're hope there's a way to get everything you want when you most want it, and even if you make mistakes, they won't fade away... You don't have to try to manage to survive without them, because they will always be there... You know, patience is a virtue I do not come by easily, when it is being tested...
To those who are listening, it's horrible to love someone so much you'd do literally *anything* for them.... To have them love you back so much, you can't understand at ALL when they leave... To have someone you spoke of your future together with... To create a world of dreams and fantasies that you immediately hold so DEAR to your heart, and they're not just in your head, because you both talked about them... You both practically lived them out in your minds... You did it all, together...
I want everything to pause for just a moment, instead of everything being go, go, go. I want life to pause and rewind, then pause again. Go back to before I made mistakes, so I can redo things and make things OK now...
I hate mistakes that you can't take back... They obliterate you and your soul...
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Come What May
This is one post that is.... particularly difficult for me to record.
So, in fact, I won't put what I was planning to type up. That is something I shall save for, perhaps, another time. Instead, let me tell you why this blog is titled what it is. (Edit: I've left the post title the way I had it for my original post, so you can feel free to imagine what I was thinking of writing about.)
Since about.... well, a year or two ago, my go-to username for anything is LyricaLife14. 14 because that is my lucky and favorite number, and LyricaLife because, that is what life is for me. Without fail, there is a song lyric that matches how I feel. Nearly without fail, there is a complete song that matches precisely how I feel. Songs carry me throughout everything I go through, be it exuberant or miserable; there is music for every moment.
Music is an important part of my life. Music never fails. It is always there to sweep you off your feet, it is always there to hug you when you've collapsed on the floor, sobbing so much because you feel too much and you just want to rip your heart out right there (truly, I've felt that exact way for the past couple of days). I've cried my way through a song because it helps me make it through.
Songs are like scents. Were you aware that out of all the five senses, the one that helps to recall the strongest memory is smell? There have been times in my life where I took in a deep breath and froze -- I picked up something that reminded me vaguely of a time in my life where I felt very certainly about something.. Unfortunately, those moments are too fleeting and once I've had a glimpse of it, it's gone. That being said, nothing else has ever reminded me of that feeling, impression, and memory besides scent. And songs are just as strong as scents are for me. The memories tied to that song resurface with every line. Because of this, I simply want to list some songs that currently strongly describe how I feel or am feeling. They do the job of a full diary entry.
"Now You Know" - Hilary Duff
"Come What May" - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge
"Last Kiss" - Taylor Swift
"Heroes" - All Time Low
"Reckless and the Brave" - All Time Low
"The One that Got Away" - Katy Perry
"So Sick" - Ne Yo (cover by Sam Tsui and Max Schneider)
So, in fact, I won't put what I was planning to type up. That is something I shall save for, perhaps, another time. Instead, let me tell you why this blog is titled what it is. (Edit: I've left the post title the way I had it for my original post, so you can feel free to imagine what I was thinking of writing about.)
Since about.... well, a year or two ago, my go-to username for anything is LyricaLife14. 14 because that is my lucky and favorite number, and LyricaLife because, that is what life is for me. Without fail, there is a song lyric that matches how I feel. Nearly without fail, there is a complete song that matches precisely how I feel. Songs carry me throughout everything I go through, be it exuberant or miserable; there is music for every moment.
Music is an important part of my life. Music never fails. It is always there to sweep you off your feet, it is always there to hug you when you've collapsed on the floor, sobbing so much because you feel too much and you just want to rip your heart out right there (truly, I've felt that exact way for the past couple of days). I've cried my way through a song because it helps me make it through.
Songs are like scents. Were you aware that out of all the five senses, the one that helps to recall the strongest memory is smell? There have been times in my life where I took in a deep breath and froze -- I picked up something that reminded me vaguely of a time in my life where I felt very certainly about something.. Unfortunately, those moments are too fleeting and once I've had a glimpse of it, it's gone. That being said, nothing else has ever reminded me of that feeling, impression, and memory besides scent. And songs are just as strong as scents are for me. The memories tied to that song resurface with every line. Because of this, I simply want to list some songs that currently strongly describe how I feel or am feeling. They do the job of a full diary entry.
"Now You Know" - Hilary Duff
"Come What May" - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge
"Last Kiss" - Taylor Swift
"Heroes" - All Time Low
"Reckless and the Brave" - All Time Low
"The One that Got Away" - Katy Perry
"So Sick" - Ne Yo (cover by Sam Tsui and Max Schneider)
Sophistication
We suppose sophistication lies in the bright lights and cityscapes. We suppose it lies in the heart of fashion, the flow of shifting attractions, the metropolis. But this perception is merely a result of modern trends, the overall public's take on the matter. Sophistication does not change with the times; instead, it is eternal. It lies in rising above the status quo and current tendencies -- rather, thinking properly of things, with an open heart and willing spirit. It's when one observes the small, intricate details with care and gentleness. It's looking at life with a twinkle in one eye, the other eye looking at the beauty of everything, molding your views to make this your natural perception.
*Note* Something I prefer to do when writing is I address an overall "you". Instead of saying "the way one would perceive another thing", I choose "the way you would perceive another thing". But it simply depends on the situation. I choose to use an overall "you" to make things more personal -- not intentionally, no, but I should hope someone can take something I say as either a lesson to be learned, or merely food for thought, and using the overall "you" assists in that matter.
Also, my punctuation will not always be correct. Sometimes I'm picky, sometimes I'm not. Typically, I am not. I write and lay things out the way one would say it out loud, rather than the way it should be formally read in an informative essay. It isn't a lack of intelligence or ability, but rather, a break from the rules. I write as these thoughts form into my head. If you ever see a more correct formatting of my work, it is often due to the fact I wrote these things down at school, then corrected it as I typed it up here for indexing. "Indexing", is that the right term to use? I'm not sure, but I don't think "recording" quite does the job. Hopefully you understand what I mean.
*Note* Something I prefer to do when writing is I address an overall "you". Instead of saying "the way one would perceive another thing", I choose "the way you would perceive another thing". But it simply depends on the situation. I choose to use an overall "you" to make things more personal -- not intentionally, no, but I should hope someone can take something I say as either a lesson to be learned, or merely food for thought, and using the overall "you" assists in that matter.
Also, my punctuation will not always be correct. Sometimes I'm picky, sometimes I'm not. Typically, I am not. I write and lay things out the way one would say it out loud, rather than the way it should be formally read in an informative essay. It isn't a lack of intelligence or ability, but rather, a break from the rules. I write as these thoughts form into my head. If you ever see a more correct formatting of my work, it is often due to the fact I wrote these things down at school, then corrected it as I typed it up here for indexing. "Indexing", is that the right term to use? I'm not sure, but I don't think "recording" quite does the job. Hopefully you understand what I mean.
A Little Intro
Well, hi.
Um, you might see that my profile says my life is falling apart. This is fairly true. I can't say life is miserable, because I'm definitely happy with some aspects of my life. My friends are great and supportive and my family is just as usual (also great). But I have to admit, I'm 110% exhausted... Exhausted with my schoolwork, exhausted from lack of sleep, exhausted due to the breakup and follow-up drama by my boyfriend, just so worn-out and torn to pieces... So, today, I was inspired to write something. Two things, actually. A friend asked if she could see what I wrote, and once she had read it, she said it was good. She then continued to ask me if I like to write in my spare time, then recommended I start a blog. I've always thought of doing so, but assumed it would just have to be about the facts. It didn't occur to me until she mentioned it that I can write whatever I want on my blog, and it doesn't matter. So, I'm starting a blog. I'll create two new posts after I'm finished with this one.
Why do I like writing? I've always felt very comfortable with words, and using them to express myself. Sometimes, I'll just rant and spill my guts about everything. Occasionally, a post will be just one full thought. Other times, a post will be a messy jumble of things. Maybe I'll talk about my life, maybe I'll talk about others' lives, maybe I'll reveal some deep, philosophical thought that popped into my head.
Hope you enjoy reading these things. This is mainly a record for myself, because I enjoy looking back and seeing what I came up with. I hardly ever revise what I write. I'll just let myself go, and it's fascinating to see what I think up of when I'm in the heat of the moment. I have no idea how often I'll update, it just depends on how much I get wrapped up into this. Who knows, maybe this will be a form of therapy for me.
Have a good night,
Rio
Um, you might see that my profile says my life is falling apart. This is fairly true. I can't say life is miserable, because I'm definitely happy with some aspects of my life. My friends are great and supportive and my family is just as usual (also great). But I have to admit, I'm 110% exhausted... Exhausted with my schoolwork, exhausted from lack of sleep, exhausted due to the breakup and follow-up drama by my boyfriend, just so worn-out and torn to pieces... So, today, I was inspired to write something. Two things, actually. A friend asked if she could see what I wrote, and once she had read it, she said it was good. She then continued to ask me if I like to write in my spare time, then recommended I start a blog. I've always thought of doing so, but assumed it would just have to be about the facts. It didn't occur to me until she mentioned it that I can write whatever I want on my blog, and it doesn't matter. So, I'm starting a blog. I'll create two new posts after I'm finished with this one.
Why do I like writing? I've always felt very comfortable with words, and using them to express myself. Sometimes, I'll just rant and spill my guts about everything. Occasionally, a post will be just one full thought. Other times, a post will be a messy jumble of things. Maybe I'll talk about my life, maybe I'll talk about others' lives, maybe I'll reveal some deep, philosophical thought that popped into my head.
Hope you enjoy reading these things. This is mainly a record for myself, because I enjoy looking back and seeing what I came up with. I hardly ever revise what I write. I'll just let myself go, and it's fascinating to see what I think up of when I'm in the heat of the moment. I have no idea how often I'll update, it just depends on how much I get wrapped up into this. Who knows, maybe this will be a form of therapy for me.
Have a good night,
Rio
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